Why Are Parents So Competitive?

Even before the child is outside of the womb parents start the competition. “Well, my obstetrician is the greatest.” “We plan to have a water birth at home.” “Actually, we plan to do an under water birth ocean birth with the dolphins, while caring for rescued manatees.” It can go on and on. It is ridiculous and I am soo tired of it.

You have the no pain medication vs. medication during labor group. You have the C-Section vs. the vaginal birth group. Breastfeeding vs. Bottle. Stay at home parent vs. Working outside the home parent. The list can go on and on.

It may be hard to believe by some, but grown adults have gotten into argument over these things. Feeling have been hurt and friendships have be soured all because one parent thinks their way is the right way and everyone should follow it because that is best.

Maybe it is insecurity that makes parents do this. If others are doing the same thing the parent feels validated and feels she is making the right choices. On the other hand, if someone is doing the opposite the parent feels invalidated and feels she is doing the wrong thing. Parenting is a trial and error thing and maybe we look for little cues. But it is wrong to want everyone to be like you and do everything you do. This competitive behavior feeds into the live of our children and end up hurting them the most.

Do not get me wrong. Ambition, drive and determination are all wonderful things, but when we have to look down on someone else to get ahead there is a big problem. We are all parents trying to raise our children to be successful and well adjusted adults. Let’s call a truce. I have my white flag up waving it high. Let all the parents wave their white flags together. No more competition among parents. Wouldn’t life be a lot easier and our children grow to be a lot saner if parent learned to get along and end the competition. 🙂

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